Fantasy MLS is a fun little diversion in either that 9-9:30am or 4-4:30pm window at work, when you either aren’t quite ready to do substantive work, or are pretty much totally cooked for the day. And the MLS format, where you can top the nation on a given week even if last week was a train wreck, or beat your friends in a private league, or be the best amongst Rapids fans, keeps me pretty well engaged throughout the season.
But the best part for me is picking a truly great name. As I can tell from my fellow MLS fans, obviously I’m not alone.
I’ve divided the best fantasy MLS names into four popular genres: player name puns and portmanteaus; soccer inside jokes; pop culture references; and names that are, shall we say, avant garde. My comments follow.
Name Puns: The Best
Guns and Shipps
I’m a sucker for a ‘Hamilton’ reference.
Tears for Mears
Good band. Better name.
A Claudio Ranieri reference AND a somewhat obscure MLS player. That’s the sweet spot of naming gags.
Impressive to make use of Sacha Kljestan’s hard-to-spell name in a pun.
She don't use Jelle
Only men and women of a certain age will know that this is playing on a line from a popular ‘Flaming Lips’ song of the late 90’s, ‘Vaseline.’
Too Lletget to Quit
Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em.
Name Puns: Honorable Mention
Coming to Amarikwa
It's about da Manneh
Moor Moor Moor
2 Nguyens in a Rowe
Zat Knight and the Pips
Soccer Inside Jokes: The Best
I’m just going to leave this here.
Dempsey: Give the ref a break for making a bad call— Tyler Hill (@Tyler_W_Hill) December 13, 2016
Inner Dempsey: Rip up his notebook pic.twitter.com/ATBzEbjuzp
I miss the old rules
Yeah, MLS Fantasy was so much better when six players were injured or on int’l duty, and you could only make two transfers.
Obligatory ‘Men in Blazers’ reference.
No Bruce, No Party
Soccer Inside Jokes: Honorable Mention
Wayne Shaw's Pie
Hot Boy Kevin Molino
Orange Slices FC
Pop Culture References: The Best
The Big Wondowlowski
OVER THE LINE, SMOKEY.
Really, really nerdy. I love it.
Is Pokemon Go! over yet? It feels over.
This name? Better. Faster. Stronger.
Pop Culture References: Honorable Mention
Game of Throw-Ins
Avant Garde Names: The Best
Gas Station Sushi
A poor life decision. Possibly like doing MLS fantasy.
Amish Rodeo Clowns
I don’t understand, and I think that’s the point.
Dogsh*t Tomato City
Nope. No idea.
Big fan of the food. Not sure what makes it a good fantasy team name though. Perhaps thats the point.
Clever Team Name
It’s so meta.
Avant Garde Names: Honorable Mention
Gut The Fishy Hubris
Ham Sandwich FC
To sign up for Burgundy Wave’s TWO fantasy leagues (a ‘classic’ and a ‘head-to-head’):
1) Come up with an awesome name.
2) go to fantasy.mlssoccer.com
3) click on ‘leagues’
4) click ‘create and join new leagues’
5) enter the codes 7818-1612 (classic) and 13626-2655 (head-to-head)
6) pick a starting XI - good luck !