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March Hair Madness First Round- Flock of Seagulls Bracket!

More hair! Some serious matchups in this bracket. Whose dome will come out a-head? Hah! Actually, I'm really sorry about that. I hate puns.

Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

In the TYHAC* bracket, voting is still open, so I can't reveal too much. Only that there are some upsets, and some absolute trouncings.

But lets turn our attention to the other side of the 32-man competition: the 'Flock of Seagulls' bracket. If you don't understand the reference, well, millenials...

Legitimate argument: Music in America reached it's Zenith in either the 80's, or the 90's - discuss. Other time periods are not legitimate answers.

So... hair we go. (Again. Sorry.) Voting in the box at the bottom - results next week!

Antonio Nocerino (16) vs. Mix Diskerud (1)

Nocerino is new to MLS, having spent the past two decades in Italian football. He's a well regarded defender, despite having bounced around to twelve different sides in twelve years, his last stop with Parma. If you haven't read the story of Parma that Howler Magazine did last season, well, you should. His hair's pretty good.

Mix Diskerud was recently revealed by ESPN FC to be rated by fellow MLS players as the most overrated player in MLS. As a pricey signing that wears the number 10 but can't cling to a guaranteed spot in the USMNT lineup, that makes sense. I'll tell you whats not overrated though. That hair. SBNation has 17 pages of Mix pix to select from, and I tell you, his hair looks fantastic in Every. Single. One. He's like North Carolina or Kentucky in this tournament. It's really his title to lose.


Michael Salazar (8) vs. Mikey Lopez (9)

Salazar's an MLS SuperDraft 2016 rookie that plays for Montreal. He's also a Belizean international. His hair is pretty damn impressive. Props for going big on an Afro-perm instead of investing in relaxer. Keepin' it real. Mikey Lopez is new to NYCFC, but his career has bounced around between USL and MLS. But that hair is strictly 1st division. Lopez is also responsible for this whole madcap endeavor - StormInMay and I were watching NYCFC vs Toronto, and when Mikey stepped on the pitch, we started talking about great hair in MLS, and how we had to do this article...


Diego Fagundez (5) vs. Gyasi Zardes (12)

Mohawk? Check. Bleached streak? Check. Currently dyed pink? Check. Detailed carvings into his scalp? Check. Young and talented and speedy? Check. That's all Fagundez. Zardes is rocking a fairly impressive rebirth of Wesley Snipes hair-do in Demolition Man.  This is a tough fight. Very much a battle of personal taste. Or, some might argue, a lack thereof.

Damien Perrinelle (13) vs. Andrea Pirlo (4)

Perrinelle has those French good looks that go with good hair. Pirlo is like those ads for 'the most interesting man in the world', except, like, for real. This one's fun- NYRB vs NYCFC... France vs Italy... clean shaven vs suave beard... guy who plays defense vs ...


Daigo Kobayashi (11) vs. Marlon Hairston (6)

The Rapids have a strong right back on the MLS all-hair starting XI, which would've been another way to go on this article.

Bill Hamid (14) vs. David Villa (3)

This is the 'understated' matchup in the tourney. There's the simple slash in Hamid's hair - clean, simple, good looking. And the straightforward 'cut and wash' of Villa's doo. In terms of soccer talent, this one's pretty spectacular too.

Conor Casey (10) vs. Khiry Shelton (7)

Khiry might have flair, but Casey proudly exclaims: bald is beautiful. Plus a cool beard.

Brek Shea (15) vs. Robbie Rogers (2)

Brek's hair, his game, his dress are all gonzo. His current hair-doo isn't a wild one, but a tour of google images will show that he's got a lot of creativity to go with copious amounts of  blond locks. Robbie Rogers is your sleeper, though, for best hair. Its like every follicle was perfectly planned and arranged, each and every moment. And he's gorgeous. Women everywhere are like 'right, OF COURSE, he had to be gay.'