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Top 6 Attitudes Rapids Fans Need in the Offseason

In looking at articles, comments, and discussion boards, it's so clear: here are the top six rules and attitudes Rapids fans must have in the offseason (and beyond)!

Jaime Valdez-USA TODAY Sports

In reading over discussion boards, articles, and comments, I'm discovered the Top Six Off-season Rules and Attitudes for Rapids fans.

  1. In regard to the Front Office, expect them to continue making the wrong moves (personnel, coaching especially). Develop this kneejerk reaction and soon it will go from science to art.  If they make a good move, do not compliment them--simply attribute it to luck or divine intervention.
  2. Take to social media to pontificate on how you would have executed the moves better. The sky's the limit with this one.  European transfers, designated players, moves in the draft--there's no end to the possibilities.  It's all gripe-tastic!
  3. Start a new hashtag to generate other disenchanted fans on your side. It's best to start the hashtag with #fire, then insert name (usually Pablo, Bravo, Hinchey, or anyone who sells pasty nacho cheese sauce).  For example, #firenachocheesesauceguy .
  4. Next, be sure to show your angst/disgust/putrification by some sort of protest. Set up a website and a corresponding Twitter account.  Wear specific colors to the game.  Start a chant.  But please, no burgundy anywhere on said website, Twitter account, or kits!  That would give the wrong idea that you support the ones wearing that color on the pitch.
  5. Pontificate how done you are and use the following talking points to make, well, your point. "Season tickets?  Don't make me laugh."  "Coming to the games?  No way--I'll watch them on Altitude." "Altitude? The coverage is terrible there and are owned by KSE." "KSE?  They're moving us to St. Louis--why bother when they'll be Chivased in five years?" Be creative!  The above are just examples.  There's no limit to what disenchanted Rapids fans will come up with.
  6. Above all, lash out immediately on any move that does not immediately make sense to you.  The operative word is 'immediately.'  Don't wait to see if the move will make sense in the long run--big time yellow care there.  No, get fired up and refer back to Rule #1 and start all over.  Like the shampoo says: Lather, rinse, repeat!
Take this article for how you will.  But let me close with this, in all seriousness: the writers and many of the fans at the Burgundy Wave are some of the sharpest footy fans I've come across. You know what you're talking about.  Trying to stay positive and provide a bit of perspective and realism in regard to the Colorado Rapids does not really attract a bunch of readers.  Epic rants?  Absolutely!  Not many rants come from the South Stands, nor will there in the near future.  (Now, if they sell off Dillon Powers or Dillon Serna--or University of Louisville standout Marlon Hairston?  Let the ranting spew forth. Until then...?)

But some fans need a dose of perspective!  For one, it's just a game for us to enjoy.  If it's become our lives, and the happenings of the Colorado Rapids affect our moods, emotions, and relationships, then I believe we've missed the point of sports.  Secondly, while the team seems to tank, I for one am glad that we have a team to talk about so close to us.  Three, I'm glad we care!

The ups-and-downs of fandom make me seasick on the burgundy waves at times.  May all of us find an anchor that provides us a steadiness--a better steadiness than sports can provide.