Humberto Suazo For Rapids Coach 2014

Oscar Pareja's leaving the club? That hasn't been confirmed yet, but with both Ives Garcalep and the MLS mothership site reporting it (though their report was based completely on Ives' report) it seems like it's probably pretty likely to happen. The frontrunners for the position appear to be former Rapids defender and Chivas USA man Robin Frasier, and John Spencer, best known for being the least deserving member of the Wall of Honor.

I don't know about you guys, but that doesn't excite me. Two guys who both failed in their first chance at MLS coaching? Where's the fun in that? That doesn't sell tickets, you guys.

You know who does sell tickets? Humberto Suazo. Well, he hasn't sold any yet, but I'll be damned if having Chilean legend and Real Salt Lake Champions-League-Knocker-Outer Suazo on the sidelines isn't the best idea that anyone related to the Rapids has had since trading Preston Burpo for anyone that wasn't Preston Burpo.

"But wait!" I can hear you yelling at the screen in dismay. "He's not retired, and is in fact still playing for Monterrey!"

Two words: Player-coach. Actually, that's only one word because of the hyphen, but you know what I mean. Make it happen, Hinchey!