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DC United 2 Colorado Rapids 0 - Hurpdedurpdurpdedurpedydoo

Kosuke Kimura played almost as well as everyone else today, and he spent the entire game on the bench.
Kosuke Kimura played almost as well as everyone else today, and he spent the entire game on the bench.

Well, I was right when I said it was going to be a shootout -- I just didn't realize that the Rapids would decline to participate.

We certainly were excited to get Conor Casey back for this game, and he did indeed get his first start since last July. Played quite well, too! Of course, that excitement was coming with the caveat that we were expecting people other than Casey (and Matt Pickens) to realize that they were playing a soccer game today.

Pretty much everyone else on the Rapids except for Casey and Pickens seemed to be asleep all match, with the midfield and Tyrone Marshall in particular putting on a miserable display as the Rapids fell 2-0 to DC United at RFK Stadium on Wednesday.

The first 20 minutes of the match were about as boring as a match can be, with no shots coming in from either side and no real attempts either; both teams looked very timid at the start.

Eventually, the shots started to come but they were coming for DC. The first goal came in a very familiar fashion to the Rapids, as it was off a counter attack. In the 25th minute, the Rapids turned the ball over in the opposing half and Lewis Neal was able to slice his way close enough to the 18 yard box to put a through ball to Dwayne De Rosario. Tyrone Marshall decided to run into Drew Moor on the play which left De Rosario wide open for a shot and a goal.

Matt Pickens turned his game on at that point with one of his best performances in a while. Nobody on DC could solve him even as the defense - specifically Marshall - kept letting the chances scrape through.

The second half started a little more brightly for the Rapids as Kamani Hill was subbed in for Brian Mullan, but their attacks still were left wanting even as Conor Casey got his usual chances and took them as well as could be expected without putting them in.

Hamdi Salihi scored another for DC in the 60th minute when he scooped up a rebound on another big save by Pickens. De Rosario looked offside on the first go around and Salihi might have been close as well, but Tyrone Marshall decided to stand there and keep them both onside during the play. Honestly, it didn't look like it would have mattered -- the most noteworthy thing the Rapids offense had done up to that point in the half was bring on a mostly ineffective Edu for the tired Conor Casey.

Really, everything after the 60th minute was pretty much as boring as the first 20 minutes were.

MAN OF THE MATCH: Matt Pickens, and it wasn't even a close race. Without him, this game was 5-0. Honorable mention to Conor Casey, who was the only other player to look remotely interested in the match.

GOAT OF THE MATCH: Tyrone Marshall. I'm sorry, but his years of MLS capability are finished. When someone is making me wish Scott Palguta would come on to replace them, they're doing a bad job.