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Colorado Rapids 2 Chivas USA 0 - Ahahahahahahaha

The worst soccer game in recorded history was played between the Colorado Rapids and Chivas USA on Saturday.

Harry How

Just how bad did Chivas USA play on Saturday? Well, the Rapids and the Goats combined for what has to be one of the least skillful games of soccer that has ever been seen in MLS history. Chivas played bad enough that Martin Rivero, he of the masterful snakebite, was able to score an easy goal, his second of the season. Chivas played bad enough that Tyson Wahl looked like a brilliant defender.

Best of all from a Colorado standpoint, Chivas played bad enough to give Steward Ceus his first ever clean sheet in MLS play.

Seriously, I can scarcely dredge up any words to describe the crap-fest that we saw in Carson. Colorado may have won 2-0, but they didn't exactly play like world-beaters. Martin Rivero played well and netted a goal, while Kamani Hill did the same. Past that, it was more Chivas incompetence than Rapids brilliance which kept the ball out of their net.

Most disappointingly, Oscar Pareja didn't play as much youth as he had hinted at originally. Davy Armstrong got his first ever appearance in the starting 18, but never saw the field. The same held true with Chris Klute. Shane O'Neill would likely have gotten a start, but he was held out with an eye injury. Instead, we saw Ceus, Wahl and nobody else of much note getting the time on the field. Hopefully against the Dynamo, we'll actually start to see those dividends.

Until then, hey! We won a game on the road by a substantial margin! (Substantial by 2012 Rapids standards, of course.)