All right, let me just say that the stream that was provided for us for that game was not all that great and it was impossible to make out one player for another. As such, I won't be using names that often in this.
Some guy from Chivas was able to score in the fourth minute of play thanks to a mediocre defensive effort by a blob that was supposedly Anthony Wallace.
After the goal, the blob that was supposedly DeShorn Brown did very well to cut open the Chivas defense and earn a couple of chances for himself up the flank, but nothing came of either of them. On the incredibly narrow field at Sam Boyd Stadium, the chances were difficult to come by for both sides, but the Rapids did an admirable job of it with Brown leading the way.
Some very pre-season finishing didn't help the cause of getting a goal, though. After the second half, Steward Ceus made sure that the Rapids wouldn't have much of a chance to capitalize on the momentum they had built.
A quite frankly clownshoes penalty given right at the start of the half made sure that the game wouldn't get much more interesting, as Ceus misjudged a bouncing ball at the top of the area and had to grab the Chivas attacker to keep it from going awry. (This is why Pickens is the starter, folks!)
They made it 3-0 shortly after that when Ceus came off his line to try and punch a cross away. He failed spectacularly and the Goats got a quick 1-2-3 deflection to put it home.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when this intrepid recap writer said 'fuck this noise' and went to bed!