Free hats for everyone who posts within!*

Seriously, I never get any comments around here so I figured a stupid lolz fest like this would do the trick. Or more likely, it will get 4 comments, two of them posted by me asking where all the other comments are. I'm on to you people!

*Free hats will probably be made of newspaper or some similar material, maybe I'll just give you a cardboard shoe box and call it a hat. Actually just about anything can be worn on the head, so what constitutes a hat? Maybe I'll give out all those 300 hats that are lying in my closet that I owned as a child, like that Reds hat that I got from little league when they named all of the teams after actual MLB teams and I got stuck on the Reds but the stupid Red Sox got the really big kid who I'm pretty sure was on steroids at age 6 and wound up winning whatever the hell the championship we had in that age was and we found it really funny since when I was 6 the Red Sox still really sucked and weren't sweeping the Rockies in the world series, but that's another story. Also free hat probably not included because I don't know where any of you people live.